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October 25, 2007

衬衫

Filed under: 往事如风 — Fei @ 12:43 am

前一段日子,我穿了多年的一件衬衫终于被穿了一个洞,我只好很不情愿的把它丢进了垃圾堆。唉,以后再也穿不了了。。。

这可不是件普通的衬衫,这可是北大的黄老师千里迢迢到Princeton陪我逛街时买的。那时是冬天,外面下着大雪。干什么好呢?就逛mall吧。于是一行几人就开车到附近的Quakerbridge mall,打发时间。到了Macy’s时,发现Ralph Lauren有25% off。我可高兴了,老早就看中一件jacket了,就是觉得太贵,一直舍不得买。。。这次可好,有折扣。我一马当先,跑到柜台前,拿了一件穿在身上。过了一会其他人走过来。我很高兴地问他们觉得怎么样。谁知黄老师只瞟了一眼就说不好看:这么小,包在身上,一点也不大气。我当时一下子就掉进了冰窟,沮丧得很。黄老师大手一挥,说,我来帮你挑吧。她很快就帮我选了两件,一件T-shirt,另一件就是这件衬衫了,说,穿上去保证好看。我也就糊里不糊涂地买了下来。

回去以后发现这两件衣服还真的很好看,就经常穿它们。我也不是没有其他的衬衫,可都被我打入了冷宫。只有几件还看得顺眼,被我反复穿。。。其结果自然是,新的穿旧了,旧的穿破了。。。那件T-shirt也是我的最爱,有点什么事情的时候总是穿它。虽然穿了很多,可感觉还是很新的样子。希望一直这样就好了。。。

我真对我的审美能力完全丧失了信心,稍微喜欢一点的衣服都不是我选的。。。看来以后逛mall还是要找mm一起逛的。。。

特撰此文,悼念那躺在垃圾桶里的衬衫。。。

October 24, 2007

2005

Filed under: 往事如风 — Fei @ 12:25 am

Preamble: This article is a description of my year 2005, supposedly accompanying my pictures for that year on my website. but I post it here anyway… it is just a snapshot of the article… future updates will only be made at the website…

What a year! I have to say… I was soooo happy at my REAL home at the beginning of the year…. and had to leave for Princeton… after reviewing both the Chinese and US market… I decided to gain some industry experience in the states… so immediately after I was back… I started looking for a job in a down market…. I wondered… hesitated… worried… depressed…. really depressed… I even asked my advisor to give me one year extension on my study…. though my secret intention was not afraid of not being able to find a job… but simply to stay at Princeton for one more year…. however… my crude advisor frankly told me… “NO”… maybe he was sooo smart that he saw through my underground purpose? (to be honest, he was still a very nice guy… he left a back door for me… saying I could submit my readmission application…) but still… I had to look for a job… after several unsuccessful interviews… I finally got an offer from a company I really wanted to get into… suddenly got excited…. then geeerrrr…. it was over… didn’t want to think about it ever again…

Knowing I would leave Princeton… soon… itself was a painful thought… so I played a lot… had a number of gatherings… went to the Street a few times… went to the international festival… communiversity… fristfest… watched movies at UFO… played pools… basically I went to every activity I could think of… hanging out with friends was such a fun thing to do… well… I had my first and most memorable surprise party… in the middle of final exams… It was quite a SURPRISE for me! Now I will still laugh when I watch the video clips some guy secretly shot in front me… no kidding… he secretly shot the video just under my eyes… sorry… no video for you guys…. it was my good old days…..

Then the semester was over… half a year was such a short period… went away in a glimpse… June was my last month at Princeton… I had to make use of my last chance… so I went to NYC quite a few times… just to meet my old friends… went to Atlantic city… went to Boston… and many places… however, I still left a lot of places unvisited… I didn’t realize it until I was about to leave… when I was at Princeton.. I always told myself that I could go there one day… but I did not… I wish I had been to Acadia… west point… or even the statue of liberty… can you believe I still haven’t been to that place!

I started my first ever full-time job… which was quite a change for me… I was afraid of saying one extra word… afraid of walking one extra step… //grin… and I had a lot of things to do to settle down on the other side of the Continent… find a place to stay… get a car… purchase furniture… and in the mean time… I had to work on my thesis…. my book chapter… gosh… I was soooo busy at that time…

And it was my happy time again… I went back to Princeton to defend my thesis! I was sooo excited about it because I could go back again… I took an entire week off… left my vacation days in negative numbers… I stayed in a friend’s place… played and played again… played Mafia… went to the street…. ate in the eating clubs and dining halls… hang out with friends… and of course… defend my thesis… you can’t assume that I didn’t prepare it… In fact, I rehearsed it many times… a long time before the defense date… (as I always do)… the date was Oct. 5th, 2005… (the date was 10, 05, 20, 05… my favourite number is… of course… 5… what a day!) The committee was: Prof. Jha, Prof. Kung, Prof. August… the presentation started at 1:30pm… went quite smooth… not many questions asked… shortly after I left the room and waited anxiously in my office, Prof. Jha came in, in smile… he shook my hand… and said: congratulations, you are a doctor now…

And it was over, no celebration, no excitement… as expected… well. an era was over… it was indeed over…

And I went back to bay area… life was plain as water… till the end of the year…

If you think some of links broken, it is not a mistake. I only put my pictures on this website. No other people will (shall) appear in the album. Many times I took pictures with many friends or just shot the scenery… And they have been left out…

2007/10/23

October 23, 2007

2005

Filed under: 2005 — Fei @ 7:50 pm

What a year! I have to say… I was soooo happy at my REAL home at the beginning of the year…. and had to leave for Princeton… after reviewing both the Chinese and US market… I decided to gain some industry experience in the states… so immediately after I was back… I started looking for a job in a down market…. I wondered… hesitated… worried… depressed…. really depressed… I even asked my advisor to give me one year extension on my study…. though my secret intention was not afraid of not being able to find a job… but simply to stay at Princeton for one more year…. however… my crude advisor frankly told me… “NO”… maybe he was sooo smart that he saw through my underground purpose? (to be honest, he was still a very nice guy… he left a back door for me… saying I could submit my readmission application…) but still… I had to look for a job… after several unsuccessful interviews… I finally got an offer from a company I really wanted to get into… suddenly got excited…. then geeerrrr…. it was over… didn’t want to think about it ever again…

Knowing I would leave Princeton… soon… itself was a painful thought… so I played a lot… had a number of gatherings… went to the Street a few times… went to the international festival… communiversity… fristfest… watched movies at UFO… played pools… basically I went to every activity I could think of… hanging out with friends was such a fun thing to do… well… I had my first and most memorable surprise party… in the middle of final exams… It was quite a SURPRISE for me! Now I will still laugh when I watch the video clips some guy secretly shot in front me… no kidding… he secretly shot the video just under my eyes… sorry… no video for you guys…. it was my good old days…..

Then the semester was over… half a year was such a short period… went away in a glimpse… June was my last month at Princeton… I had to make use of my last chance… so I went to NYC quite a few times… just to meet my old friends… went to Atlantic city… went to Boston… and many places… however, I still left a lot of places unvisited… I didn’t realize it until I was about to leave… when I was at Princeton.. I always told myself that I could go there one day… but I did not… I wish I had been to Acadia… west point… or even the statue of liberty… can you believe I still haven’t been to that place!

I started my first ever full-time job… which was quite a change for me… I was afraid of saying one extra word… afraid of walking one extra step… //grin… and I had a lot of things to do to settle down on the other side of the Continent… find a place to stay… get a car… purchase furniture… and in the mean time… I had to work on my thesis…. my book chapter… gosh… I was soooo busy at that time…

And it was my happy time again… I went back to Princeton to defend my thesis! I was sooo excited about it because I could go back again… I took an entire week off… left my vacation days in negative numbers… I stayed in a friend’s place… played and played again… played Mafia… went to the street…. ate in the eating clubs and dining halls… hang out with friends… and of course… defend my thesis… you can’t assume that I didn’t prepare it… In fact, I rehearsed it many times… a long time before the defense date… (as I always do)… the date was Oct. 5th, 2005… (the date was 10, 05, 20, 05… my favourite number is… of course… 5… what a day!) The committee was: Prof. Jha, Prof. Kung, Prof. August… the presentation started at 1:30pm… went quite smooth… not many questions asked… shortly after I left the room and waited anxiously in my office, Prof. Jha came in, in smile… he shook my hand… and said: congratulations, you are a doctor now…

And it was over, no celebration, no excitement… as expected… well. an era was over… it was indeed over…

And I went back to bay area… life was plain as water… till the end of the year….

2007/10/23

October 16, 2007

2006

Filed under: 2006 — Fei @ 7:50 pm

2006 is a special year for me. I finally got the highest degree possible: Ph. D. Even though I officially graduated in year 2005, and I’m called as class of 2005, I attended my hooding and commencement in 2006. It is a once in life event. Now I just wish that I did more… did better for this event…

The hooding and commencement are no doubt the highlight of the year. I especially invited my parents to come to Princeton and share with them my joy and happiness. My host family also attended my hooding ceremony. They were seated in the front row of the second floor of the McCarter theater. To me, it was the best seat for the hooding ceremony, as you can see from a short video showing me on stage. I really spent a lot of time figuring out the best seat. I first started thinking of the seating even two years before (2004). In that year, I volunteered (paid volunteer) to work for the hooding ceremony… and my secret purpose was actually searching for the best audience seating…

It’s soooo great meeting lots of old friends at Princeton University once again. I personally have known a lot of them for 5-6 years, or ever since they first came to the University. We have built up a strong friendship during our work, study and lives at Princeton. I still don’t know when I will meet many of them again in the future… but I’m sure I could not meet that many friends at the same time and place ever again… it is a sad… sad… fact of life…

I was sooo sad that I finally had to leave that place…. a place I spent five whole years of my life… honestly… it was the second best time I ever had… in my life… the best time was from first grade to sixth grade… a time I knew nothing about life… nothing about future… and precisely because of that… no other time can surpass it… But anyway…. as I walked out of the FitzRandolph gate, I knew… no matter how I unwilling I was… Princeton became a past tense in my life… It became a piece of memory… drifting away… and I had to look to the future… accept the hard, bitter life (compare to Princeton life)…

But the commencement was not all for the year. As you can see from the long list of places I went during the year… I travelled a LOT… the credit should actually go to my parents. They came to the states for half a year… attended my commencement… and travelled a LOT… we actually went out almost EVERY weekend… and I used up all my vacations for the year… What a year!… but as you might have guessed… I did not travel at all (almost) in the other half of the year… hmm… maybe I should be more active for myself?… heh?

2007/10/16

2006

Filed under: 往事如风 — Fei @ 12:31 am

Preamble: This article is a description of my year 2006, supposedly accompanying my pictures for that year on my website. but I post it here anyway… it is just a snapshot of the article… future updates will only be made at the website…

2006 is a special year for me. I finally got the highest degree possible: Ph. D. Even though I officially graduated in year 2005, and I’m called as class of 2005, I attended my hooding and commencement in 2006. It is a once in life event. Now I just wish that I did more… did better for this event…

The hooding and commencement are no doubt the highlight of the year. I especially invited my parents to come to Princeton and share with them my joy and happiness. My host family also attended my hooding ceremony. They were seated in the front row of the second floor of the McCarter theater. To me, it was the best seat for the hooding ceremony, as you can see from a short video showing me on stage. I really spent a lot of time figuring out the best seat. I first started thinking of the seating even two years before (2004). In that year, I volunteered (paid volunteer) to work for the hooding ceremony… and my secret purpose was actually searching for the best audience seating…

It was soooo great meeting lots of old friends at Princeton University once again. I personally have known a lot of them for 5-6 years, or ever since they first came to the University. We built up a strong friendship during our work, study and lives at Princeton. I still don’t know when I will meet many of them again in the future… but I’m sure I could not meet that many friends at the same time and place ever again… it is a sad… sad… fact of life…

I was sooo sad that I finally had to leave that place…. a place I spent five whole years of my life… honestly… it was the second best time I ever had… in my life… the best time was from first grade to sixth grade… a time I knew nothing about life… nothing about future… and precisely because of that… no other time can surpass it… But anyway…. as I walked out of the FitzRandolph gate, I knew… no matter how I unwilling I was… Princeton became a past tense in my life… It became a piece of memory… drifting away… and I had to look to the future… accept the hard, bitter life (compare to Princeton life)…

But the commencement was not all for the year. As you can see from the long list of places I went during the year… I travelled a LOT… the credit should actually go to my parents. They came to the states for half a year… attended my commencement… and travelled a LOT… we actually went out almost EVERY weekend… and I used up all my vacations for the year… What a year!… but as you might have guessed… I did not travel at all (almost) in the other half of the year… hmm… maybe I should be more active for myself?… heh?

If you think some of links broken, it is not a mistake. I only put my pictures on this website. No other people will (shall) appear in the album. Many times I took pictures with many friends or just shot the scenery… And they have been left out…

2007/10/16

October 8, 2007

Blue Angels! Blue Angels!

Filed under: 往事如风 — Fei @ 12:10 am

Today, Oct. 7th, is the annual Blue Angels flight demonstration show at San Francisco. WOW! That’s the only word I can describe it. It is my first time watching a flight demonstration, live, ever… Plus, I did not watch it at any of the piers, where tons of people must have packed every inch of space. I watched it in a private yacht specially for Princeton Alumni. That, gave me a perfect view of the entire show. It’s well worth the $$$… I have to admit, however, that most of the alumni were undergraduate alumns… I searched the entire yacht back and forth, and could only find one graduate alumun…. who got his master degree in 1984… well… it is still a world of undergraduate alumns….

The yacht was a pretty, three-storey yacht… free finger food and drinks were served at the second and third floor… half of the third floor was open so it’s perfect to view the flights. The yacht stopped at a place with equal distance to the golden gate bridge and the bay bridge… it was exactly the place where the jets would flew over in short distance… at first, we stopped exactly under the flight route…. and the planes flew over us in like a hundred feet…. becuse the jets were supersonic… we could not hear anything when they approached us… and then suddently found them just overhead… with thunder like ground-breaking noise… it. was. scary. so we backed up a little bit… and I personally felt a lot safer… who knows what would happen.. after all.. it is a really risky demonstration…

I took a LOT of pictures during the show… actually I used up all my 1G memory for my camera… and I shot over 500 pictures… you can find some of my selected pictures blow… They show how close we were to the jets… jumbo fligts…  the words painted under the jet wings could be seen with ease… and even the pilots were very clear in the pictures…

Below are some continues shots I took for a series of flight demonstration… a heart pieced by Cupid’s arrow… jets flew UNDER the golden gate bridge… and a LOT more!

At last… show two pictures of jets flying up-side-down…

oh… I love Blue Angels… I love Princeton…. I will defintely come again next year!!!!

October 7, 2007

San Francisco AT&T Park and Princeton Yacht

Filed under: 2007 — Fei @ 9:31 pm

October 1, 2007

Website Launched!

Filed under: Freestyle — Fei @ 11:09 pm

It’s two years since my dear personal website was cut off by the Princeton OIT people… and I always felt lack of something… so I started writing my blog last year… and I still felt something missing… well… now I should feel happy… at least for one thing… I have a new personal website (beta)… launched today!

I’m still working on the content of the website… mostly adding more pictures… because I want to keep a single code base (computer term)… I still put all my essays in my blog and my new personal website just RSS the blog… and I put all my pictures in my picasa album and also my website link to that… another important reason that prompted me to do this way is that I host my website using an old computer borrowed from my company… at home… in comcast… so you know I can’t use a lot of bandwidth… hehe… it is shared w/ the bandwidth for my personal use…  however… I still encourage you guys visit my website… instead of the album/blog directly… coz I may use multiple album accounts to save my pictures… and essays? and they are linked from a single place… my website…

Also, a more important reason is that I will put some ads from google to the website… haha… want to make some money… I really envy some guy… (don’t want to mention the name)… who can earn over a hundred dollar a month simply by visitors clicking the ads… for me…. no hope… my blog has less than a thousand clicks over the last year Sad … I’m still working on the ads part… hope google will grant my application soon… Wink… and also, I even applied a domain name for my website…. too bad my name was already registered by some unknown guy… so I made some compromise… now you can access my website by www.feisun.org

please visit often… give me some feedback… and don’t forget the ads.. Tongue out

September 30, 2007

Embarrassing Moments

Filed under: 往事如风 — Fei @ 11:25 pm

也不知道怎么的,最近做事有些心不在焉。。可能和睡觉不好有关系,可又说不准。。。所以才发生一些让我很embarrassing的事。。。

那是上个星期二,中秋节。。。和一些朋友吃晚饭。。。和那些人也不是很熟。。。刚在餐桌旁坐下的时候想和旁边的人认识一下。。哪知他第一句话就是:上次和你一起吃饭的时候你也穿着这身衣服。。。oops。。。我什么话还没说呢。。。凭他说,我那时的架势就是想介绍自己的样子。。。不过我也不以为意,我就是记不住人,小时候就是这样。。。典型的intuitive type的人。。。随后又和他聊了起来。。。

前一个星期六我刚参加了个讲座,里面做了些性格测试。。还有一些小游戏,我觉得很有意思。。。发现不同的人看事情、想问题的方法还是很不一样的。。。以前一直说的推己知人还是很不正确的。。。。btw,我的性格是INTJ type。。。有兴趣的人可以看here

由于刚刚发现了新大陆,见着人就想问他的性格是什么样的。。。想看看他们做事像不像。。。所以在餐桌上聊了一会突然就问了那人有没有做过心理测试。。。话刚出口,就觉得自己问的不对。。。心理和性格是两回事。。。他也没有什么反应。。。就立刻又问了一次。。。问了后他还是没什么反应。。。但他旁边那人好像不太对劲了。。。我突然觉得好像问错话了。。我问的不是性格测试。。。但是什么又想不清楚。。。忙问,我刚才问了什么?well。。。我又说错一个字。。。问成性别测试了。。。damn。。。这种事竟然发生在我身上。。。这可是extremely insulting的。。。这件事当场就给这席晚饭定了基调。。。成为大家攻击的对象。。。好在他大人大量,也没有怎么追究。。。

不过这件事让我想起前一个星期发生的类似的事。。。那时我有一个朋友过来开会,和这边人聚餐一下。。。当时组织者给我打电话,问我岳阳楼和香辣轩选哪一个。。。我还说,就香辣轩吧。。。可我当时心里不知怎么想成了川蜀园。。。后来我去接那位朋友。。。出了hotel后就向川蜀园跑。。。走880,280,stevens creek。。。但我在280上竟然上了17号路。。。走着走着发现两边都是树,前面就是山。。。oops,走错路了。赶快调头。。又过了七分钟到了川蜀园,发现餐馆没灯。。。不对。。。打电话再问。。。。。。。等到了正确的餐馆时已经晚了50十分钟了。。。别人一个个都饿得像猴子似的。。。。。。真是太不好意思了。。。。//bow

Anyway,希望这些事不要再重演。。。希望睡个好觉。。。。。。。。

September 26, 2007

做游戏了,

Filed under: Freestyle — Fei @ 11:21 pm

前一段时间在blog上看到有些朋友被点名了。。。当时还窃喜。。。想自己逃过一劫。。可没想到还是被点了。。。别人点还可以脸皮厚点,可这次是Miss. Man点名,不由得心虚。不敢不从。。。Here I promise to Miss. Man, I tell the truth, only the truth, nothing but the truth… however (as everything has a however), as I said, it only reflects my thoughts at the time of writing. One cannot assume that I possess the same thoughts at other times.

游戏规则:
A、被点到名字的要在自己的空间里写下自己的答案。然后去掉一个你最不喜欢 的问题再加上一个你的问题,仍然组成20个问题,传给其他8个人,列出其他8个需要回答问题的人的名字,还要到这8个人的博客里留言通知对方——你被点名 了,被点名者不得拒绝回答问题,完成游戏的人将会永远得到大家的祝福。
B、这8个人要在自己的博客里注明是从哪里接到的,并且再传给其他8个人,让游戏继续下去,不得回传。被点到名字的人将会得到大家的祝福,并且所有美好的愿望都会在不久的将来实现。
1、从谁那里接到的题目?
Miss. Man

2、2007年最难过的是什么?
离开普林已经两年了。。。今年唯一一次回去是伤心的去,伤心的回。。。

3、2007年最大的心愿是什么?
改过自新,重新做人。

4、你会毫无保留地相信你的朋友吗?为什么?
In short, NO. 我连自己都不相信,何况别人。

5、结婚以后,你想要几个孩子
三个。第一个男,第二个女。第三个无所谓。第二胎在第一胎后两年,第三胎在第二胎后五年。。。(做梦吧,不是我决定的。。。不必认真)

6、哪种类型的异性让你最反感,你喜欢暧昧的感觉吗?
这是两个问题吧。。。
从没觉得哪个人让我反感(或者说不记得了),就是对我很mean的人我也没觉得怎样。。。不过话说回来,可能我有时对人很mean自己也没察觉。
先要定义一下暧昧是什么吧。。。是自己没想好吗?我怎么觉得这是很痛苦的事。。。

7、初恋几岁,结果如何?
如果算上看一下女生脸就红那种朦胧感觉的话。。是初中。。。如果不算的话。。。好像没有耶。。。

8、你现在最想拥有的是什么?
快速交通工具。。中国白天在中国玩,美国白天在美国上班(班还是要上的)。。。不用睡觉。。。哈哈。。。

9、你的理想是什么?
成为一个觉者。。。哈哈。。。just kidding。。。弄清楚世界是怎么来的。。。那是痴人说梦吧。。。

10、在你心中我是怎样一个人?
一个很有个性很厉害的“小”妹妹。。。说的事不敢不从。。。像今天一样。。。

11、如果可以重来你最想改变的是什么?
从头开始,但要记住今生的所有事情。。。这是个典型的feedback optimization问题。。。

12、你理想的伴侣应该具有什么样的品质?
实话实说,这是要保密的。。。要不然以后找女朋友就没得玩了。。。现在的标准不是以后的标准。。。这种东西我已经变过好多次了。。。

13、什么才算得上真正的朋友?
不是说君子之交淡如水吗?要像水一样。。。想来我做得挺好的。。。不善于远程联系。。记性不好。。见不了面就想不到联系。。。不过要能见到的话还是会想到的。。。

14、让你最难忘的一个异性是谁?
话说失去的才觉可贵,现在能见着的不见得难忘。。又说时间能抹平一切伤痕。。。现在见不着的、难忘的人不见得以后还难忘。。。没有绝对难忘的人。。。看来我空性学的还挺好。。。

15、最近最让你迷茫的事情是什么?
这篇paper是写还是不写呢?

16、不开心的时候你会做什么?如果是自己关心的人不开心了呢?你会为她(他)做些什么?
那要看为什么不开心了。。。一般来说,我会不说话。。。
要爸爸妈妈不开心了。。。小时候就发呆。。。现在就讲大道理。。。

17、最想去哪里?为什么?
最想去的地方就是最不可能去的地方。。。要不然去了以后还有什么最想去的地方呢?
信基督教的话,最想去的地方是天堂。。。要看一看上帝是不是真的。。。
信佛教的话,最想去的是见识见识佛的境界。。。看看大千世界是什么样的。。。
信科学的话,最想去的地方是宇宙边缘,如果能到宇宙之外就更好了。。。不过这好像和科学矛盾。。。

18、如果可以选择,哪一样特质/能力是你最想得到的?
hoho,我这个人很贪的。。。我所有没有的能力都想得到。。。一个典型的perfectionist。。。
另一个选择就是做到:恶念不起,善念不生。。。成佛。。。(这样的话其他的能力都不是问题)不过话说回来,要做到这点先要修四圣谛、八正道、十二因缘、六波罗蜜。。。太难了吧。。。

19、能请我吃饭吗?什么时候?
好。。。吃了你那么多白食。。也该回请了。。。可以去饭馆吗?

20、有自卑过吗?怎么找回自信的?没有的话,告诉我一直保持自信的秘诀吧。
生活在自卑中的话就不必找自信了。。。

21。如果让你选择一个名人做配偶,你会选择谁?理由是什么?
记性不好。。。脑子里没觉得有什么名人。。。值得做我配偶的。。。

我去掉问题,可以不用回答7或者19,我添加问题:
跟7-10年前相比你变化最大的是什么?有意识地改变的么?最没变的是什么?

点名:Jie, Metero, Fei, Chen Z,nora,Jun Lin, jing, luoluo,被点到名字的同学,如果这个游戏太无聊,不好意思哈,谁要我在msn里面总看到你们,你们又有博客呢?fang 或者 icy的博客,可能主题明确专版专用,如果不想参加就算了,免得破坏了版面完整,想参加就热烈欢迎哈。

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